Confessions of a Guardian
The day was sunny in Mainframe. It was just after the restart and everyone was settling down, ready for life to go back to normal. Well...as normal as life in Mainframe can be. Things were going great and the people of the city were happy again...except for a certain blue-skinned guardian.
Bob paced back and forth in the living room of his apartment, a slightly annoyed look on his handsome face. The guardian had problem that was a bit unusual for him. He'd been thinking of a way to tell Dot how he felt about her but whatever he came up with just sounded really lame.
"Dot...I loved you the moment I saw you...no, no, that sounds stupid. Dot, you're the most beautiful sprite in the Net...no, too cliche. Geez...I can beat the User in the games, fight viruses, and save a system, but I can't even tell the woman I love how I feel about her." Bob sighed and continued his pacing.
Mike the TV sat on the sofa staring at the guardian as he moved back and forth in front of him. Silently, he got up and followed Bob as he paced, mimicking his posture. He followed Bob until Bob turned and almost tripped over him.
"MIKE!! Would you cut it out?!" The guardian shouted as he stepped around Mike and continued his pacing.
If anything, Bob's outburst only caused Mike to go off on one of his selling tangents. He hopped up in front of Bob and displayed on his screen something that resembled the infamous 'Bucket O' Nothing.' "Problems with the little woman? Can't find a way to tell that special someone how you feel? Well, my friend, you need the Bucket O' Love! And it's yours for the low low price of 99.99.99!!"
"Don't make me get my screwdriver, Mike..." Bob threatened, narrowing his eyes.
It didn't work.
Mike's screen went blank for a moment, then a pink binome in surgical garb appeared. Mike went on, "Try watching an episode of 'The Love Hospital' which you can buy to watch at your own leisure for only 99.99.99!" The pink binome on the screen smiled around his mask and said, "A prescription for romance."
"MIKE!!" Mike shouted again. The guardian's patience was obviously wearing thin.
It still didn't work.
"How about a Holomark Card? When you care to send the very best, send Holomark! Send a thank you card, or an upgrade day greeting, or even a poem! All for the affordable price of 99.99.99!!"
"Mike, I'm warning you, if you don't leave me alone I'll..." Bob stopped suddenly, a thought popping into his head. "Wait a nano...that's it! Mike, you're a genius!"